Wednesday, December 28, 2011

2011 Dickweed Awards Hosted By BC with Special Musical Guests Bozo Porno Circus

It is that time of the year. Time again to take a look at some of the folk that truly deserve to be awarded a Dickweed. It is quite an honor really. From the world of sports, entertainment and politics....They are all here. Let's take a look at the recipient's.

Dick Durbin: Dick (where's your turban?) Durbin seems to be a bit of a controlling type. 'Pears that he has his hand in just about everything. Just this year alone he, along with a few other near Marxists in the Senate, pressured the Orange Bowl folk to end their relationship with a cigar company. Is this any business of those at the federal level? They sure seem to think so.
Dick also seems to have a problem with the so called "voter ID" movement that is sweeping the nation. He knows good and well that a whole lot of his "friends" in congress would not be elected if it weren't for illegal aliens, retards, and the criminal underclass. Apparently it is a problem that any one wishing to vote have some sort of state issued identification on their person.

The Orange Bowl Committee (or whatever it is called): A group can be included in the competition and these Orange Bowl folks are late inductees simply for not telling Durbin and Co. to bugger off. These folks are not only dickweeds but are pussy to boot.

Chuck Schumer: This Schumer is a problem. Most Texans and Southerners can't stand the sight of him. His lobbying to have a space shuttle on display in NYC instead of Houston is criminal. It would have been interesting had the Texas State Guard just snatched the thing and brought it home where it belongs. What fun it would have been to see this POS stamp his little feet over that one. Schumer deserves a Dickweed and no mistake.

Craig James: This "sports and broadcast legend" (in his own mind) will be running for the U.S. Senate. His past underhanded antics and meddling with the Texas Tech football program cost a good coach and decent person his job. His past activities while a player at SMU need to be investigated. Something just not right about this James.

Todd Graham: Oh yes, the well traveled football coach qualifies for a Dickweed. He is not only a dickweed but a coward to boot. He has left three programs in the last few years high and dry. The last time he did not even have the cajones to tell his players at the University of Pittsburgh that he was again moving on. In person anyway. He did it by text message. Probably afraid of an ass whoopin. That would be my guess.

The Bureau of Alcohol Tobacco and Firearms: Another group inducted? Yes. Why not? It seems that again this "police" agency has been implicated in some pretty incompetent (and horrible) deeds. The "fast and furious" episode is only the latest. Remember the foul up a few years back near Waco, TX? That was another ATF disaster. This agency seems pretty good at infiltrating inbred biker gangs but that is about it. It should be disbanded, the "agents" dismissed from service, and any duties that are legitimate shifted to other agencies.

Eric Holder: He just needs to go.

Dumbass Sheila Jackson Lee: This woman is always near the top of the list when any discussion of fools commences. She may be pretty harmless (other than actually having a vote in the House) and it is often great comedy to listen to her bray about this and that, but she certainly qualifies for a Dickweed. She is, by all accounts, an insufferable person to be around and hell to work with. I have listened to her "talk" a time or two and believe her not only to be a dickweed but a "professional" racist to boot.

John McCain: While we honor his military service it is certainly to difficult to honor the remainder of his public career. He is in the same mold as the aforementioned Dick (where's your turban?) Durbin. A busybody who is part of the problem.

Ted Kennedy: What's that you say? He is no longer with us? You mean to tell me that the drunken "liberal lion," manslaughterer, and all around buffoon has gone to his reward? Well I guess it is not kosher to talk bad of the departed. So I won't. Accepting the Dickweed for the family will be the Gentleman from Massachusetts; The Honorable Barney Frank.

Keith Olbermann: Keith's platform has shrunk a bit after he lost his gig at MSNBC. He still qualifies for a Dickweed none the less. At least he does not "work" football anymore. He was more irritating to listen to than the aforementioned Craig James. If that is indeed even possible.

Bono: I suppose that BoneOn does some good charitable work. He is still a dickweed and will be so honored. His holier than thou act just tends to grate on folks nerves.

Sean Penn: Like BoneOn, Penn does some good charitable work. His need to cozy up to some unsavory folk is certainly hard to understand though. For this he will be honored with a coveted Dickweed.

Mrs. Palin: Is she going to jump in the Republican race this late in the game? She seems to have left the door open. It sure seems that the GOP is trying to give the presidency back to a very beatable Obama. With the pack of fruitloops, losers and lukewarm types they have for us to chose from, it certainly seems so. That being said it just makes sense to make room for one more nutball on the big stage. Mrs. Palin? Give it a rest will ya.  Palin certainly qualifies for a Dickweed. Very well qualified indeed.

A lot of folk fell just short this year and there are certainly those who are deserving who have been left off (mainly because I tire of this nonsense). Keep up the good work though. I award Dickweeds throughout the year. As a fact of business, I award them on a quite regular basis.

Now enjoy our rather disturbing musical guests Bozo Porno Circus. Or not.


Jayhawk said...

"Honoring" McCain's military service is a bit questionable, actually, since he crashed four jets due to pilot error, not counting the one that was shot down in Vietnam, and would have been drummed out of the Navy if his father had not been a high-ranking Admiral.

I'm not complaining, mind you, since the Navy was rather tolerant with my proclivity to seek the answer to the song, "What do you do with a drunken sailor?"

Bartender Cabbie said...

I was not aware that he crashed for jets. Interesting. Also being a "drunken sailor" is a time honored Naval tradition.

I have a feeling that the Navy of today is less tolerant of a bit of drunkeness on liberty. Probably send the offender off to some sensitivity training or something.

Bartender Cabbie said...

four jets