Sunday, October 30, 2011

Some Sunday Morning Ranting

As usual there are some things that just need to be said. What better time than a pleasantly cool Sunday morning to bray about this or that. Well here you go......

It appears that Missouri will leave the Big Twelve and move onto greener pastures in the SEC. Oh well. Don't let the door hit you. WVU will more than replace Mizzou. The Mountaineers say they are making a move. This "realignment" mess in college football is getting a bit old.

The act of war that Iran (allegedly) attempted to perpetrate on our shores has sort of fallen out of the news of late. I don't know why. Perhaps it is because it was a hairbrained, not well executed, plan. That is neither here nor there. It was an act of war. Just because it did not work out for the Persians does not mean that it was not warlike activity. If a nation shoots a missile at the assets of another country but the missile goes haywire a lands in a field somewhere is that still not an act of war? Same thing in my book. Iran should be on fire right about now. Oh does that bother you? Sorry.

I watched a show the other day about a group of sailors who are bomb disposal experts in Afghanistan. It was interesting to say the least. We have an awesome group of young people defending our country. Now on the flip side, I also watched a show aptly named the Glam Fairy recently. This show is an offshoot of the ridiculous train wreck Jerseylicous. I had to watch you see. The people on some of these reality shows are so stupid it is just hard not too. Anyway on this Glam Fairy show there was a "glam fairy" who goes by the moniker "Glammo." He is all "about fashion" you understand. He was having some sort of dispute with another beauty shop type and they were getting a bit out of hand. As I said it was hard not to watch. At any rate, it occurred to me that our military forces are being paid to defend us and some of "us"  are just stupid. A bit depressing really.
 You know what? Screw it! I am not going to tread lightly here. There is nothing wrong with being gay (in my humble opinion), and even the repeal of DADT does not bother me. That being said, do you not look sometimes at these absolute flamers that are paraded before us and wonder why we are told we are bad people for feeling just a bit disgusted? I understand a person is who they are and have no choice in the matter, but is it not just a bit natural to feel a bit of nauseated after watching some of these folk. You know it to be true. Whether you admit it, even to yourself, is another matter.

Did I mention that I like this old guy named Crockett Keller? No? Well I do. I might discuss him a bit later but this Jesus thing is fermenting now and I must strike while the iron is hot.

Would you allow your child to go trick or treating dressed as Jesus of Nazareth? I would not either. What about Mohammed? I would not myself but for entirely different reasons. Jesus is my saviour, (and like most I am sure I don't deserve His grace), and Mohammed was likely nothing more than a warlord. If I am wrong about the "Prophet" then I am wrong. Of course the point is really moot I suppose. No one really knows for certain what Jesus or Mohammed looked like. I am pretty sure no one will cut your head off though if you chose to dress in the "image" of Jesus the Carpenter. People will talk some shit about you sure, but that will probably be about it. Try trick or treating as Mohammed in certain neighborhoods (even) in this country. Let me know how that works out.

The Republican race goes on and on. I sort of like this Cain. Perry is not your guy. Trust me on this. A panderer and coward is that one.

Have you noticed that it was OK for Jeremiah Wright to spew racist hatred from the pulpit but one old Texas fart is being blasted for saying things far less offensive in his radio spot? That is America for you. Some on the "left" are all about free speech you see until you "offend" them. A lot of them need to be offended on a regular basis. It is easy to write them off as just silly screechers but some are actually fifth columnists and a danger. But you already know that.

That is about enough for one sitting.

Saturday, October 29, 2011

Out of the Woodwork

It appears that Arlo Guthrie and Pete Seeger have joined in on this so called "occupy" movement that has come in vogue of late. One of them, Guthrie I think, is now in his 90's and apparently he led these neo hippies in song, poetry, or some such shiiite. That's ok I guess. If Guthrie and Seeger wish to relive their "glory" days a bit then more power to them. It is a bit silly of course, but at their age........Why not? It is sort of the same as rooting for an advanced aged bank robber I suppose. You know it is stupid but you kind of pull for them anyway.

Tune in, turn on, drop out, and don't let "the man" get you down. Whatever that means.

Crockett Keller: Ballsy Old Bastard

I just watched a video that features one Crockett Keller of Mason, Tx. discussing his radio spot advertising his concealed carry service to the citizenry in his locale. Unbelievably non PC! It seems that Keller does not wish to conduct classes for Obama supporters and flat refuses to train "non Christian Arabs" in the fine art of handgun safety. Of course the whining has begun. I am sure that this ballsy old cuss will find that his business will be audited or he will face some other type harassment from the bureaucrats of the "Republic" or FedGov. If I were a betting man, I would wager that the radio station folk who ran his advertisement will feel some sort of heat also. A restaurant does not serve one with "no shirt or shoes," so why would old Crockett not have the same type say in running his business?.

Of course, in this country, discrimination is a huge no-no.  Let us be honest though; Isn't this old dude a bit refreshing? Who among us does not harbor some distrust toward Mohammedans? You don't? C'mon. Be honest with yourself. Let's try again. Do you harbor some distrust toward the followers of the Prophet? Still no? Well you are either a better man than me or you choose to keep your head buried in your hindquarters. 

I like this Keller. It is kind of fun also that he has perhaps the best "Texas" name I have ever heard.

Crockett Keller? Wasn't he at San Jacinto?

Saturday, October 22, 2011

Senatorial Nut Scratchers

I have noted that at least two reputable sources have mentioned that some Democrats in the Senate have called on MLB to ban the chewing of baccy. Of course Dick (Where's your turban?) Durbin is among those leading the charge. Why is that not surprising? Don't these loudmouth hoors have more important problems in the country to worry about? Oh wait...they are the problem.


Friday, October 21, 2011

Adios to a "Military Man"

Well the Colonel is no longer with us. No one is going to mourn this scumbag but one certainly has to wonder what will come next. Will there be another radical Mohammedan regime just across the small pond from Europe? If I was a betting man.............

On a side note; did you notice the savages dancing around Khaddafy's (my favorite spelling) body? Yep that good old "Arab Spring" will likely prove to be more dangerous to the West than the good Colonel ever was.

Saturday, October 15, 2011

A Bit More Advice for A Young Lad

After reading my last post you still are thinking of tying the knot are you? OK. You need to know a few more things before you take that final leap.

As with the green grocer, expect to spend a lot more time in department stores than you ever have before. Expect to hear about the money that your wife "saved" after one of these trips. Don't give into the temptation to mention that you are three hundred dollars lighter in the wallet and don't understand how that is saving money. That will just end up making your day seem very long indeed. Oh and by the way; Do you know what 'thread count" means?  No? You will learn.

Fully expect for your new bride to call her mother after you have a disagreement. You might be surprised to learn that your new mother in law may just take your side. After all, she knows her a lot better than you do at this point. In a short time though you will know things about your bride that her mother has no clue of. That can be good. That can be bad.

Expect for any trip out of town to take much longer than you are used to. I don't know why a three hour trip suddenly becomes a five hour journey. Just the way it is. It is like a union rule or someting.

It would probably not be a good idea to mention that you think it would be fun to have intercourse with your new wife's sister or best friend. Keep that between you and your God. If you actually have had relations with one of the above, well,..............You're on your own buddy. Good luck with all that.

Just a couple more things for you to ponder. Hope it was helpful.

Thursday, October 13, 2011

Advice For A Young Lad

So you are thinking about getting married eh? As a man who is on his sixth wife, (not really but stating such is an attention getter in conversation), I can tell you that there are a few things that are going to be changing in your life. If you don't realize that early, and get with the program, then you will have a few eye opening experiences. You may not like them.

One thing you will have to get used to is spending a long long time grocery shopping. It just seems to take women longer than most men to visit the green grocer. One way to get around this is to do the shopping yourself. Of course that in itself may be a source of conflict. Now if you are going to do the shopping you probably have to learn how to do it the proper way. You will learn this shopping with the wife (unless mommy taught you). You learn how, then just do it faster. You may already know how to shop properly. Probably not though, unless you are a wedding planner or interior decorator. If that is the case you probably would not be getting married anyway. Unless of course you live in state that allows alternative marriage.

Honesty is not always the best policy. Now I am not advocating being a liar, but there are just some things that need to be kept to yourself. If you go for a steak dinner and beers to a "gentleman's club" with your buddies, then it is perhaps best to just not mention it. Keep the venue to yourself as it were. If you foolishly mention that you went with the boys from the office to a titty club, fully expect your wife to not quite understand. It does not matter if they have the "best steaks in town." That won't work. She won't get it. You might not be getting any either.

Never under any circumstances just go buy a vehicle on your day off  without consulting with the boss. This one took me a while to get. I must be a hammerhead. It did it twice. I won't make the same mistake a third time I can tell you that. Don't believe me? Go ahead and bring that big truck home.

Fully expect to be informed that you will be going someplace or other. If the wife brings home tickets to the ballet then just sack up and go. Don't bitch and try not to act bored (if possible). If the big game is scheduled at the same time well then that is just too bad. Trust me on this.

Expect a project to be scheduled for you when you have plans to go fishing or something. Sometimes a compromise can be worked out in such cases. Sometimes not.

Expect for your wife to dislike some of your friends. You have to choose. If you have any maturity about you then you know what the choice will be. Of course some women are insufferable and it might just be best to keep the friends and ditch the wife. It happens. Most young guys have friends that are just fools. Some never ever grow up. You can admire them from afar but realize that they will likely, in the long run, be lonely.

Fully expect your wife to not understand you affinity for Asian (or any other kind) of porn. If you know who Long John was or would recognize Peter North at the green grocer then perhaps you should keep it to yourself. Of course there are those women.........

If you like to poon gaze (and who doesn't?) it is best to develop very discreet tactics when engaging in said activity. Expect to be questioned about it when you get caught (and you will). Thankfully this becomes less of an issue the older you get. Or at least it should.

A girls night out is something you will have to get used to most likely. These are wonderful opportunities to have a bit of time to yourself. You will learn that. Expect your wife to perhaps not understand you going "out with the boys" however.

This is just a small sample of things you will have to get used to. Stick it out (if you can). It really is for the best.

Friday, October 7, 2011

A Few Thoughts for Friday

TGIF. I have not been keeping up a much with the news of late; too busy. Thankfully I am off today and will waste time (yours and mine) on blogging. A few thoughts to get the ball rolling.....

What are these "occupy" protesters protesting exactly? Is it the banks? Of course some bankers are scum and have done their part to get us involved in this financial mess we are in. Lawyers are scum also. Do we protest in front of their offices? I suppose we should include Allstate Insurance to the list. I know that company is full of scumbags. I have felt their "good hands" before. Worse than a visit to a doctor with fingers the size of a lumberjack.

TCU to join the Big XII? Sounds like a winner. The conference needs to do something to avoid going the way of the pterodactyl. TCU more than replaces those silly Aggies. It will be hard to replace Nebraska though. That is a shame. College football is in flux. It is most likely the fault (to some extent) of the asinine BCS system. I propose we occupy NCAA, ESPN and BCS offices. Does the BCS actually have an office? Is it some sort of star chamber type thing? I don't know. Do you?

Notre Dame is really considering joining a conference in football? Say it ain't so. I guess just skating along on their name and ancient gridiron glory is not enough anymore.

It is being reported that the laws against "dwarf tossing" may be repealed in Florida. Sounds good to me. If a little person wants to be thrown around in a bar for pay well that is their business.

Jimmy Carter is a dunce for giving away the Panama Canal. I guess it would not be PC to take it back at this point.

Hugo Chavez is going to nationalize some oceanfront property on an island off "his" coast. Perhaps the property owners should apply the scorched earth policy and run for the boats. I don't buy Citgo gasoline because of this Chavez trash. I apologize to the good Americans who are employed by Citgo. I have nothing against them personally. Maybe we should do something about the ownership of this particular energy company. Perhaps we should do something about Chavez also. Perhaps call Dale Gribble. He's a merc isn't he? A pest control exterminator mercenary as it were. I once knew a carpet cleaner who claimed to be a demonologist. I called him "Bud the carpet cleaning demonologist." He sort of made me nervous.

I suppose that HLN is going to broadcast the Michael Jackson trial thing non stop. After all the Casey Anthony deal has pretty much gone away. It is amazing that Americans continue to watch these loud mouth hoors with their sensationalistic style of "journalism."  Oh well can't blame the network. They are just providing a service I suppose.

Have you seen the new Gears of War commercial? I like that vato. I like that. I may actually go out and buy it so I can waste even more time when I should be doing something constructive.

Halloween is upon us. I am getting ready for the local "evangelical" churches to begin their yearly campaign against satanism, witchcraft, paganism, etc. etc. What a bunch of freaking loons. I never have seen Old Scratch on Halloween. Have you? If Lucifer appears in the driveway then perhaps I will get on board with the fundamentalists on this issue. Till then? STFU.

My friend Mark was rude to some Mormons the other day. I was sort of embarrassed. They did leave though. I will say his method does work. This is the same guy that told a Muslim woman that he "hoped she did not have a bomb under that suit." I am glad I was not present for that episode.

Swing on by later. I will be happy to waste more of your time.