Wednesday, December 29, 2010

Why the Repeal of DADT Does Not Bother Me

I am not really all that upset at all about the repeal of  "DADT." As a veteran I know darn good and well that gay people have been serving honorably for a long long time. I am sure since the days of the American Revolution. I just don't see the big deal frankly. Now I remember when women were first integrated in warships and the outcry that ensued. Of course there have been a few problems here and there as there will be when gays are integrated but that goes with the territory. There were a "few" problems also when those American of African descent were integrated. The nation survived and the military is stronger for it. Now I understand that there are those that have prejudice against gay folk but I would like to ask you this. Do you think that just because someone is gay means that they are automatically going to be "attracted" to you? Maybe want to bugger or blow you? Unlikely. As I said gay folks are already in service. A friend of mine who served many years in the USMC told me something to the effect of "there are so many fruits in the Marine Corps that is almost unbelievable." I see no reason to doubt him. I served in the seagoing services and knew quite a few that I suspected to be gay. I could not have cared less. My friends Pat "The Hamster" and Joe "The Horse" were gay and we all got along pretty well. I would have trusted my life with them in a dangerous situation. There are those that worry there will be a huge influx of gay people enlisting very soon. Perhaps some, but again I beg to ask a question. Do you think that the average "flamer" is going to enlist? That is after all what you are likely afraid of. I don't think so. "Mr. Charles" at the hair salon probably does not have any interest in military service. Nope, I don't think that openly gay people in service will really make any difference. Probably won't even notice it. If I thought that gays would seriously disrupt the fighting strength of our forces I would be totally against it; feelings and "rightness" be damned. I just don't see this as a big issue. Sorry.

Tuesday, December 28, 2010

Texas Hold-Em Is Not Really Poker

For the multitudes who read this humble blog you know by know that Santa brought a poker table and chips for my young one. That is what she asked for. Don't ask me why. I think it is genetic. She got it honestly. Her mother's side of the family you see is peopled by gamers. These folks don't seem to be happy unless they are engaging in some sort of game, watching games shows, doing crosswords, etc. etc. Did you know that there is a tv channel called "The Game Show Network?" I can assure you that I am aware of this. Thankfully there is more than one tv in the house. Did you know that there is more than one "poker" tournament that is broadcast for the masses? I do. Remember when these poker freaks wanted Texas Hold Em to become some sort of  Olympic game. Hello, it is a game of chance. Yes, yes I know there is some slight skill involved in card games, but all in all, it is a game of that involves mostly luck to win. Put that one in your pipe and smoke it poker guy. Now I am not a huge fan of poker but I do enjoy some video poker once in a while when I escape Texas and travel to state where one can legally gamble a bit. I do quite well also. You can sure play a poker machine for a long time on twenty bucks. Get free drinks also. Can't quite beat that. Now I learned the other day how to play this Texas Hold Em and it is indeed kind of fun and sort of interesting. Still it is not real poker.

Now as long we are on things that are not, I would like to point out that deer hunting in Texas is not really hunting. Yes I said it. Have you ever gone outside and shot the neighbors dog in his own back yard while he was at his water dish? Probably not. Have you ever gone into a field and shot dead some one's cow at the trough? I hope not, but if you have, then you probably have a good idea about deer hunting in the great state of Texas. It always amuses me when I see these guys (and gals) in their best "Taliban hunting" garb go out in the "field" for some deer hunting. Don't get me wrong. I am not anti hunting per se. I have done some deer hunting in states where you had to "still" hunt and could not stoop to such as feeding the deer.  I just don't think you can call the sport of deer hunting in Texas a real hunt. Or a sport for that matter.  Not when you can set out a feeder for them. Like I said, about as easy as shooting down the neighbor's dog or a farmer's cow.

 No sport there. Just pussy.

Sunday, December 26, 2010

The 2010 Tuna Flapper Awards

Well Christmas is over and the whole "goodwill to men" thing is starting to wear off a bit. I guess I am just a bit of a mean bastard. I will call a spade a spade, wait, that is probably not the best phrase to use. Sorry bout that.  Hmmm I guess I best just say that I will "tell it like it is" or at least my perception of what "it is." Now the multitudes that read this little blog know that I am not beholden to any one ideology. I often feel that those who are tend to be zombies and possibly (at times) a bit dangerous to society. I am very conservative on many issues, (Jill over at would probably put me in class wingnuttia), not so conservative on some, libertarian on most, and downright liberal on a few. As a result of my personal "bent" as it were, I am pretty darn non partisan when classifying people as  a candidate for a Tuna Flapper. As you will see they fall into the Flapper category from all spectrum's of society. The thing that all these folks hold in common however is that they should, one and all, just shut the fuck up. I will refrain from classifying these people in any particular order because they all are  odious creatures to one degree or another and there should be no computer ranking system. This is not the BCS after all. Well, here you go.

Sean Hannity: Hannity? Yes. I occasionally listen to this buffoon and find him really nothing more than a cheerleader for the right. That is fine and good but I also get the feeling that he usually has little idea of what he is talking about. Plus he is an ass kisser. Kind of like the Jim Rome of political "sport." I hate it when he refers to B. Netanyahu as "Bibi." It implies that he (Hannity) is important on the stage of world politics as it were. It implies fawning familiarity.  If I were Netanyahu, I would guard my package. Hannity may try to perform some surprise fellatio on his person. I would not drop the soap either. I must admit that I do appreciate Sean's support for Israel. That alone is not enough to keep him off the list however. America would be better off just to tune this guy out. He is nothing more than a rural disc jockey and should be doing little more than the local farm report.

BCS System: Well I suppose it is ok to put an inanimate "program" on the list. It is after all backed and supported by flesh and blood creatures. This system is ruining the game of college football, at least in the "upper division." I have spoken of this at length on my college football blog. I will, I am sure, have a bit more to say before the season is all said and done. If I may shamelessly self promote, check out my other "writings" at You may (or may not) enjoy it.

Sheila Jackson Lee: Now for those not familiar, this silly woman is a congresswoman from the great state of Texas. She "represents" some of the poorest areas of Houston. Now as I have stated before, it is somewhat classless to call some one a dumbass in open forum, but exceptions at times have to be made. I will pull no punches here. This woman is a narcissist and perhaps a sociopath. She for certain is stupid. I hesitate to diagnose her as an "anti social" personality simply because she may not be intelligent enough. Often those who suffer from this disorder, in addition to being potentially dangerous, are quite intelligent. Intelligence alone may be enough to disqualify Lee from this diagnosis. Hard to say. I do not hold a "doctorate" in psychology. (Isn't it cute when someone is referred to as a Doctor of Psychology?)At any rate, if any of you are not familiar with this silly broad I would suggest you do a little research and find out for yourself just how stupid this poor woman is. She qualifies for a Tuna Flapper sure.

Nancy Pelosi must be included. Perhaps there should be another category for the likes of her. Perhaps a "Dried up old Tuna Flapper" category would be more of a fit. That would just confuse things however. Why make the process more complicated that it already is. A lot of "thought and analysis" goes into the Tuna Flapper Project. At any rate, this sad nutcase should be near the top of the list, if I was indeed "ranking" these folks. Poor woman is a buffoon and a deserving recipient of a Tuna Flapper.

"Dr." Phil: Phil must be placed in the category simply because he is an annoying, silly, "feel good" type of guy who has parlayed his brand of non sense into some success. I don't begrudge him that, but I certainly believe him to be a twit and therefore deserving of one of the coveted awards. He just talks too much. A friend of mine says he is a "fag." He does not mean gay, so don't get your panties in a knot. He is using the time honored word common in the language of the American male, to call out another male for being, well, a bit of a  pussy or acting in a pussy like manner. It also can be a term of endearment among friends. Further clarification on this may be needed. I will try my best. How about this; "Get in the car you fag, we are going to get more beer." Does that clear things up a bit for you? I hope so. If not, well, that's showbiz.

Oprah: Has America just not had quite enough of this woman yet? Good Lord! When will enough be enough? Remember when Jim Baker chanted "enough is enough" a few years ago when the local newspaper had his number and was on the attack? If the Very Reverend Jim was still with us he would qualify for a Tuna Flapper award, but I digress. Back to Oprah. She is just another person doing her small part to further the pussification of America. We should all be thankful. She is such a wonderful sensitive person. She is highly qualified for a Tuna Flapper and no mistake.

Sarah Palin: How dare I? I do so dare indeed.  Like Oprah, it is past time for this woman to just go away. I know that many of you love her and that is fine. I personally think she needs to just shut the hell up. My intention here is not necessarily to offend, but I must call her out and award her a Tuna Flapper. I find her a poster child for the "Tea Party" movement. Nothing more. She would not even complete her term as Gov. of the great state of Alaska. Does this not send up red flags? Apparently not for some. Does not her desire to be a "reality television star" not cause one to wonder? Just a bit? Again apparently not for a great many. How this woman became such a power in politics is beyond me. It is obvious she is somewhat of a loon, a phony, and definitely an anti social personality. She, unlike S.J. Lee, is intelligent and therefore possibly (but unlikely) a danger to the nation. Have I gone just a tad to far for you? Sorry. For those of you still counting on her to make a run for the highest office in the land you must know that her successful nomination would ensure that the leftists will win the next presidential election. The woman is just too controversial for the average voter. But some of you zombies don't think that way. Do you? She is highly qualified for a Tuna Flapper to display proudly on her mantle.You know, just under the stuffed moose head (that she herself actually did not kill). Probably bought it at Eskimo Dan's trading post out near the airport.

Stewart Smalley: Now Senator Smalley certainly deserves a Tuna Flapper. I really have no tangible reason for presenting this award to him other than the fact that I don't like him. I just don't like him. Well I guess his being an unrealistic pusillanimous leftist does factor in somewhat. I guess I should note that I am referring to Sen. Al Franken (for the SNL uninitiated). Having to explain humor kind of defeats the whole purpose. I hate it when that happens.

Julian Assange: Now this guy is really qualified for an award far more prestigious than the mere Tuna Flapper. He is more qualified probably for some sort of  lifetime achievement award such as the Ice Pick in the Ear or perhaps the little awarded Piano Wire Necktie. Awarding these prizes is above my pay grade however so I will have to be content with awarding him a Tuna Flapper. This man is not a traitor to this country as he is not a citizen, but he certainly is a traitor to Western Civilization. His Wikileaks involvement has likely put American and Allied troops in  even more danger than they are already. Of course he has many supporters in this country and elsewhere who put him in the category of "hero." It is in my power to award those misguided twits collectively a Tuna Flapper and I do so here. I can just picture a theatre full of silly Hollywood types dabbing their eyes with tissue as this Assange freak is awarded the Ice Pick or the Piano Wire Necktie. Poor, misguided, sad little people. They would get over this of course at the after award ceremony group sex party in some Beverly Hills  grotto. Isn't this Assange also allegedly some sort of groper or rapist or something? That should not deter the Hollywood crowd from ass worship though. They still are in love with Polanski who apparently had carnal knowledge with a child. Sad.

This could go on and on of course and there are those probably more deserving of the award than those so awarded. I grow tired of this however and will just leave it at this. To those that won a Tuna Flapper this year I say to keep on doing what you do best. Perhaps you will again be a winner.

Saturday, December 25, 2010

My XMAS Gift to You

I love this band. Absolutely. Why not share them with you all? Enjoy

A Bit Early For All That

I suppose it is just a bit early to post my Tuna Flappers of the Year awards. It is Christmas evening after all. A time to show goodwill toward others, etc, so on and so forth. So in keeping with the spirit of Christmas, I will refrain for now.

A Controversial Gift

I was going to say a bit about a poker table that Santa "brought" to my young one(that is what she asked for) that was made in Red China (the table not the child) but decided against it. What isn't made there these days? I thought about the tequila that I almost bought a friend but decided against it due to it being  a product of Mexico. It is easier to boycott the products of Mexico than those of the Red Chinese. I decided to target the American Golden Arches instead. They appear to be the "real enemy" these days and it is just a bit more "American" to eat our own (no pun intended) it seems. You see, my better half got a certificate from Mickey D's as a gift from one of the firms she does some business with. Fine and good. Now I think that said "restaurant" is crap and the food, for the most part, horrible. My child, on the other hand, believes that the sun rises and sets in the land of the Golden Arches. At least the part where the chicken nuggets are grown. We decided to give the gift card to my child for Christmas. Re gifting I believe it is called. Now, as a parent, I do allow her to visit this foreign land on occasion and indulge in a nugget frenzy but I do limit it somewhat. (If left to her own devices, she would eat all her meals there). You see we make these choices and decisions. No one else.  I am not sure that I would be comfortable with anyone else making these decisions for me. The gift certificate will be used sparingly but it will be used. To those of you who are attacking the Golden Arches, be it in court or city council chambers, I say; "Shame on you." You are just pussy.

Friday, December 24, 2010

Well, Here You Go

This time of year it is customary to wish others a Merry Christmas. So Merry Christmas to everyone.

Thursday, December 23, 2010

Called Out over Zappadan

I have been called out over my affinity for the psuedo holiday "Zappadan." A friend of mine read my earlier posts on the matter and mentioned that I sounded like one of those pathetic far far leftists that actually celebrate Zappadan in a serious manner. Nothing could be further from the truth. The ability to understand "tongue in cheek" is not my friend's strong suit. Now with that being said, there is a ring of truth to his statement. There are those, usually on the far far left, who will try anything to soothe the sense of emptiness that they must feel in their soul. Zappadan, Kwanzaa, Festivus, etc. are mere symptoms. They will argue that Christianity is a fraud, the Christmas Tree is derived from paganism (it is), and anything else to deny to themselves that there just may be a God. In my case, I celebrate the life of a great modern composer and extraordinarily intelligent man who took on the likes of Tipper and Al and made them look like the fools they are. That is Zappadan to me. May Frank Zappa rest in peace.

Monday, December 20, 2010

American History Like it or Not

On hundred fifty years ago today South Carolina seceded from the Union and declared her independence. The reasons seem a bit silly now looked upon from the vantage of time. The issue was of real emotional importance however during that period in our history. A powder keg if you will. There are those that will tell you the issue was solely about slavery and they are only partially right. It had far more to do with the approaching end of a culture and the cataclysmic response to that fact. Granted slavery, or more accurately, the expansion of slavery in the United States, was the root of the issue. There is no getting around that. Thankfully slavery is a thing of the past. Now is you will excuse me, my wife has informed me to prepare a bedtime toddy for the Colonel.

Zappadan: The Reason for the Season

This is Frank Zappa speaking before Congress concerning the possible censorship of musical art. This is only one part of his testimony with full testimony easily found elsewhere. The man was a genius both musically and it turns out, politically. His defense of the First Amendment of the Constitution should be seen by all students beginning at the high school level. Zappa, along with John Denver, Dee Snyder, and others came before Congress and proved, beyond a shadow of a doubt, that those in power in this great land will often jump on an issue and consequently try to destroy lives, to cover up or divert attention away from issues that are of real importance nationally. This whole affair should have been a non issue. The fact that this occured a quarter of a century ago does not matter. The danger still lurks. Zappa and others should be considered American heroes actually for their defense of the First Amendment. The group that caused all of this alarm (at taxpayers expense), was led by one Tipper Gore. There may never have been a more silly leftist that stepped to the goose than this woman. The real crux of the matter here is that she and her allies were taken seriously and there was a near cataclysm that would have resulted in censorship. Those that we elect to high office should always be watched and never ever really trusted. This is not a partisan issue. Those that run for high office generally are anti social personalities and are far more likely to damage freedom than further it. It reminds me a bit of the fairly recent "steroids in baseball" ridiculousness. There are now, as there were then, many issues of great importance and we, the American people, were distracted by nonsense on both occassions.

In Celebration of Zappadan

December 4 through December 21 are the Holy Days of Zappadan. The holiday celebrates the life of the unparalleled modern composer Frank Zappa who has passed from the scene. Now there are those who do not understand or indeed have never heard of Zappadan. It is real I can assure you. The Holy Days are celebrated world wide and frankly, and let us be honest, it is no more ridiculous than Kwanzaa. In honor of the Holy Days I present to you a live version of Disco Boy. Enjoy.

Monday, December 6, 2010

Oh Vey! Circumcision to be Outlawed?

Well I had to go into Houston after work this afternoon to tend to a bit of business and came upon an interesting billboard. Now I did not have time to sit and look at the entire message as I was in brutal traffic moving at a quick pace, but the gist seems to be that circumcision hurts and is cruel. This may be true but I don't remember it. Do you? You see I am sure this is some advertisement from a group of "do gooders" that would love nothing more than to mandate that all males be anteaters instead of helmets. I have spoken of the problems that "do gooders" can (and have) caused society in the past. Nothing and I mean nothing can convince a "do gooder" to leave things well enough alone. They are on a mission. They are convinced of their righteousness, and of course, most are stark raving mad. I think the whole circumcision thing should be left to up to the family of the child. The whole thing reminds of something funny. Quite a few years back, while serving in the USCG, I knew of a guy who apparently kept having some kind of wing wong problem. He was not circumcised and apparently the Naval medical staff decided that a circumcision was in order. Well the procedure was performed and when he got back to the ship he swore up and down that part of his dong had been amputated. True story. Scouts honor.  I don't know for sure if he was playing it up or really and truly believed such, but the long and short of the matter is that he had to be discharged from service. Probably he was running a scam but perhaps, just perhaps, they did lop off a bit of his wang. It was the early 80's after all and we are talking about military medicine.....

Saturday, December 4, 2010

I Knew It

Last night while watching the Middle American Conference Championship game in which Miami(OH) pulled one out of the hat against a ranked Northern Illinois team, I heard one of the announcers refer to the Christmas Tree that is somewhere in I assume the downtown area of Detroit as a "Holiday Tree." That did not take long. It is a Christmas Tree damn it. Getting a bit sick of all this PC nonsense. Nuff said!!!