Saturday, February 9, 2013

A Special Kind of Dumbass

As a retired barman (still available for lawyer funerals and the occasional wedding or orgy), I have often marvelled at the concoctions that folks order. Perhaps the strangest I can recall was an Indian doctor requesting Scotch, Dr. Pepper and three olives, (no less, no more). The Dr. in question was in attendance at a venue in the Sugarland area (just south of Houston) that often hosts Indian weddings. One thing about these Indian weddings, the women are beautiful and tend to not wear any under garments with their thin traditional dress. A cop that works security at the venue regularly pointed this out to me and I kept a sharp eye to be sure. He works there every chance he gets he then did I.  Indeed!  I digress. Strange drinks? Oh yes.  Here and there someone has requested a beverage that I have never heard of (Wicky Wacky Woo) and I usually enjoyed mixing it up for them and of course putting the recipe in my little book. All in all working as a barman is a rather enjoyable "career."

One thing that I have always noticed is the number of people who tend to want diet drinks with their sugar filled adult beverage. A rum and Diet Coke is the usual request. Let's see, limit the intake of sugar when you enjoy a beverage which is basically just fermented sugar cane juice. Often people making this choice do so because of some health concern or other (usually diabetes), or perhaps they just want to keep a trim figure. I never understood that. I can't understand the stupidity of someone who actually believed that a diet drink is healthy anyway. Nothing but chemicals and they taste like vomit. I can not, will not, believe anyone who tries to tell me that they really prefer a diet soda over the real thing.

It has come out recently that diet soda is every bit as bad for your health as the real deal. Perhaps more so. The artificial sweeteners are recognized by the body as sugar anyway and the same (or similar) internal processes are triggered. It is now reported that these same diet drinks tend to increase the "need" for eating sweet foods in many people. Most regular sodas in this country are made with high fructose corn syrup and that is not a good thing either. That is why I violate my "no Mexican products" policy and purchase the occasional Mexican Coke, but I would certainly introduce high fructose corn syrup based drinks into my body before I would ever drink any sort of aspartame laced diet drink. (On a different but related subject I don't used maple flavored corn syrup when the real, albeit it pricey, deal is available for purchase.....).

In my humble opinion if one orders a diet soda with their adult beverage they are a special kind of dumbass and should be hit with a stick and condemned to the fires of Hades.

For some reason Indian hotties are on my mind......Don't know why.

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