Olbermann Loses Another Gig

It appears that Keith Olbermann has lost yet another gig in broadcast "journalism." Of course it is not his fault. It never is. I would suggest Fox News give the guy a try. He would be the perfect "liberal" foil for some "conservative" talk show host or other. Likely Keith could not stand to be playing the role of the resident fruitloop though. His ego would demand that he be taken seriously (by at least someone). At some point in time a "normal" thinking person would look in the mirror and begin to realize that the problem just might be the person looking back at them. It is doubtful that Keith is capable of this type self reflection.

Frankly it doesn't matter where Keith goes as long as he forever is kept out of sports broadcasting. If you think he was/is a bombastic ass as far as political commentary is concerned, you should listen to him bray during a football game.

I hope he finds some non sports related broadcast gig. I like good comedy as much as the next guy.

More dumb verses

I was supposed to work today but the job was cancelled. I am unfortunately in the position of having too much time on my hands and that is not a real good thing. Here are some silly verses that I have thought of that you might (or might not) enjoy. Warning: Some themes might be a bit inappropriate. Reading discretion is advised.

There once was a man named Olbermann
Who came right at folks like a doberman
His mind's a bit numb
He's quite frankly dumb
Yet he thinks he's the Nietzsche Overman

There once was a man named Frank
Who liked to put it where dank
He was kind of silly
But still no hillbilly
Look out! He's eyeing your crank

There once was a woman named Couric
If a man one would call her a big dick
She had liberal bias
But still quite a nice ass
She was in need of a wing wong colonic

There once was a man named Obama
Who surrounded himself with much drama
Rush believed him a commie
Sharpton thought him a Tommy
He once dissed the brave Dalai Lama

There once was a man called Chris Mathews
Who had sensations running up from his shoes
He gets hard as a rock
When hearing Barack
All should duck before his instrument spews


Sorry.

My Friend Jeremiah Schlong Is Better Than Olbermann

I just read something very funny concerning the brilliant Keith Olbermann of sports and communist broadcasting fame. He was apparently discussing healthcare on his comedy show over there at MSNBC and sounded foolish. Imagine that. At any rate Bill Heffner, in his excellent blog "On My Mind." wrote that Olbermann "stepped on his instrument." I read it, reread it, and busted out laughing. Instrument? That is a riot. I left the comment that he always is stepping on his instrument. It is not certain though that he is in possession of an "instrument." It seems to me that his plumbing is more likely interior than exterior. Oh well the one thing that is certain concerning Keith, regardless of the type plumbing he has, is that he is indeed an "instrument."The whole thing reminded me of a time gone past when I was in the service. There was a song by someone and one of the lines was "the blood flows through my instrument." I don't recall who the performer was and I don't feel inclined to look it up, but that line was seized on by a shipmate of mine and he sang it all the time. It actually became annoying. I have not thought about this guy for quite a while. He was my leading petty officer at the time and we often had problems getting along, but all in all he was my friend and comrade. For some reason we all had what we called "porn names" during this period and he enjoyed referring to himself "Jeremiah Schlong" which was pretty hilarious. He obviously was first in line when the schlongs were being handed out and someone came up with the theory that the bigger the instrument, the less one can handle liquor. As a result of this observation whenever he sang "the blood flows through my instrument" it was pointed out that there was so much blood in that region that there was not enough left in his brain and that was why he was a lightweight. It was true, two beers and this guy was insane. Three or more beers and he was incoherent. This disturbed him somewhat I believe. With that crowd, manhood was judged on the ability to drink well. There may be something to the instrument/liquor theory incidentally. At another duty station I noticed one Joe "The Horse" could not drink more than one or two without being blasted. Back to Jeremiah; he and I once rode our motorcycles from our duty station in Florida to his home in Toledo. We stopped in Nashville along the way and had a couple of drinks. He then proceeded to urinate in front of the Grand Ole Opry while, at the same time, advised some woman that "he did not give a shit if she was married, she needed to come back to the hotel with him." I just stood back a good distance away and waited for him to be arrested. His luck was in that night as no cops showed up. We proceeded to Toledo without any further insanity. Once there we checked out a couple of Mud Hen games with some of his family members who, quite shockingly, were normal people. We also had some drinks with some of his buddies from high school who I thought were pretty much thugs. After a few days we rode back to Florida. I enjoyed my experience in service at times and still remember fondly some of the people with whom I served. One influence "Mr. Schlong" had on my life is that I developed an intense dislike for Ohio State football. That was all he talked about during the season and it grated on my nerves. I still can not stand the Buckeyes and probably never will. "Jeremiah," like Olbermann, was and probably still is an "instrument," but unlike Olbermann, he was no pussy.

Little Dumb Verses

Everyone at one time or another has heard of the "There once was a man from Nantucket" thing. Perhaps some of you even recall the old "There once was a man from Kent" ditty. I have thought up a couple myself, but they are pretty tame in comparison to the above.

There once was a man named Rush
From his mouth the words they did gush
He made waters murky
Some thought him a turkey
But he's done pretty well for a lush

There once was a woman named Rachel
She had a talk show on cable
The network did botch
For very few watched
But to fire her they will be unable

There once was a loudmouth named Grace
Who always wore a scowl on her face
She sure liked to screech
She might be beech
I wish someone would spray her with mace

There once was a man named Hannity
He sure suffered greatly from vanity
His show was too long
He was usually wrong
Methinks he's losing his sanity

There once was a man called Olbermann
He is just an idiot

I had a little too much time on my hands this afternoon..