Sunday, May 1, 2011

Casino Tips from the Cab

I thankfully live at least three hours from the nearest (legal) casino and I hope it stays that way. There are those here in the Republic of Texas who have been braying for years about allowing some sort of casino gaming here. They want to keep the money from leaving the state and landing in the coffers of our neighboring states. Fine and good but as a Southeastern Conference man I like it that the money goes east to Louisiana and to a much lessor extent, Arkansas. Now if the cash just went to Oklahoma or New Mexico (which a lot does) I would be in favor of casino gambling in Texas. Don't care much about the Mtn West or "Big Twelve." It would kind of be nice to have gaming in Galveston I suppose. There is a history of gambling in that fair city, but as of now I must stay in the opposition camp on the issue. Be that all as it may, I have some techniques that have served me well on my trips to a casino. Hate to say sure fire but pretty darn close.

Let me preface this by saying that I have no interest in a casino. None. If I am not winning I am more than ready to leave in about 1/2 hour. I don't play table games (video poker is a different cat), and all the lights and noise get annoying after a brief period. I have found that casinos are not really all that good for poon gazing either. One might think they would be but they really just are not. Not near as good as an Astros game. Now that is prime gazing ground.......At any rate, here is how I almost always come out ahead on my infrequent jaunts to gamble. I bring no more than 200 dollars to play with and usually less than that. I go right to either a five dollar or perhaps a one dollar slot machine. If playing dollar slots I usually play max bet, which is either two or three dollars. If playing five dollar slots, I will start off with minimum bet. By the time one spends one hundred dollars there is usually a payout which often doubles the money. Now of course this does not work all the time and I have walked out broke, but it is rare that I don't (at least) double my money. Honest Injun.( One has to have the willpower to walk away with the winnings instead of feeding them back into the machine. That is how they get ya. I admit I have done this a time or two.)  There have been more than a few times that I have done real well and had to "see the man" in the "tax office" before collecting my winnings. It is unfortunate that the IRS gets a chunk of that, but so it goes. Of course there is a way around that. Cash out just under the limit required to get a 1099.  That does indeed work, but it also can destroy the "karma" of the game. I have experienced this first hand.

Now I also enjoy video poker. Don't care for the table games so much, but really like the video variety. The good thing about that is that if one is waiting on their better half to finish up and lose all his/her money, you can play video poker for hours on twenty bucks. Probably won't come out ahead (although I have done quite well a time or two), but you can sure kill a lot of time and drink for free to boot. Not a bad way to spend an afternoon if one finds themselves trapped in a casino.

Most people charge for advice like this. I'm just a benevolent soul I guess.


Jayhawk said...

I used to play Pinochle, double deck without nines of course, in the Navy and we played for $1/point. The hands are 400 points each, so it could get expensive. Other than that, I've never been into gambling.

Now, what you refer to as "poon watching," well, that is an entirely different matter. There is the San Diego State campus just a few blocks from my house, or any grocery store in San Diego. Best is, as you might guess, the grocery store right next to the San Diego State campus.

Bartender Cabbie said...

Grocery stores always seem to be good for gazing. Especially in the warmer months.