My Dog Hates Bicyclists And So Do I

The other day my little dog was out running the yard when a group of those bicyclists rode by. You know the ones with the super expensive bicycles and the ridiculous colored skin tight outfits. For some reason that only he would know, he took out after them yapping at their tires and generally causing a hazard, and then it happened. One of the pink and green clothed riders squirted him in the face with a water bottle. I burst out laughing as he ran back into the yard with his wet ears. I could tell that his feelings were hurt and that he did not understand why anyone would have the audacity to squirt him in the face. I told him that he should stay in the yard and such things were not likely to happen . I don't think it helped however because he sulked about the rest of the day.

The whole episode was hilarious and the more I thought on the matter I concluded thus: Haven't we all at one time or another wanted to squirt one of these bicyclists in the face with a water bottle?I know I have. In parts of Houston these people will ride their machines in the center of the traffic lane and hold everybody up. If you dare try to pass them and get a little close to avoid a head on collision with another vehicle, these fools become very upset. They obviously believe that they own the road. Don't ever honk at one or you may be the victim of a lot of vitriol and may even be sprayed in the face yourself with a water bottle. God fordid that you actually hit one with a vehicle. They will crucify you in court.

 If that is not reason enough for you to hate these people, the cute little outfits they wear should really tick you off. I guess it is one thing for a woman to wear cutsy little outfits like this, but a man should just have a little more of the "manliness gene" than to wear such. It is just one step up from wearing a skirt, aerodynamics be damned. As a kid and young adult I rode a bike a good bit, but I just wore regular clothes. I have also noticed that the ladies look much better riding their bikes wearing bikinis than those stupid outfits. Now I understand that riding a bike is good exercise and all, but it just seems that these people could avoid holding up traffic on busy city streets and high speed highways.

I myself would not mind having a bicycle and may one day get another one, but it will be ridden on neighborhood streets and perhaps on the Galveston Seawall. I assure you I won't be wearing any fruity getup. You can take that to the bank.