I do a little bartending (and cab driving) in the Houston area and it being the large city that it is and I, being damn good at my job (Toot!, Toot!), have worked my fair share of events that cater to the celebrity crowd. I have had some good experiences and bad. Just because one finds themselves in the public eye, does not mean that they are any better (and often worse)than anyone else. I will name names here so read on brother.
A few years ago the NBA All Star game came to town along with all of the broohaha associated with it. I worked a number of the events including the rookie game, a private party or two and the gigantic NBA after party. I actually did not work the All Star Game as I was assigned to the party afterward. Here are some recollections of the event.
The after party was extremely busy with literally thousands of people at the event and everyone doing there level best to get drunk as hell. This truly reminded me of the Tom Cruise movie "Cocktail." It was that insane. At one point some guy broke in front of other people in line and informed my that "Steve Francis and his crew wanted a bottle of Cristal. His "crew?" I was not aware that Steve Francis was a river boat captain. To be honest, this occurred a few years ago and the guy might have used the term "posse." If so I would imagine that the only posse this thug belonged to was not going to mount up and chase bad guys anytime soon. Perhaps his posse was more adept at hunting bimbos in the club (with a bottle full of bub, look mami I got the X if you into takin drugs). You get the picture? Another thing I remember is the MC kept hollering "Jamie Fox is in the house" over and over. It was earsplitting. One thing I did notice was Magic Johnson standing in line in my partners station just like everyone else. An NBA Hall of Fame player who had the class and decency to wait his turn just like regular folk. He is from the old school no doubt. Contrast that with Steve Francis' representative demanding Cristal. Anyway it was my distinct pleasure to tell him that the Cristal was sold only at a booth completely across the venue.
At another NBA game I was assigned to the suite that Yao Ming's parents had for the night. They seemed like very reserved and nice people. But there were some things going on there that I found really disturbing. Now there was nobody being rude or demanding, quite the contrary, everyone was exceedingly polite. Here is where it begins to get a bit disturbing. There were some businessmen and hangers on obviously from Red China along with some oily, perpetually smiling, little guys who were obviously agents of the government (PRC). There is after all a Red Chinese consulate on Montrose Street in Houston. Here is where it gets really problematic (for me as an American) - There were quite a few other Americans (obviously business types looking to score something or other) who were scraping and bowing to our guests from the Peoples Republic. There was one guy who apparently had some kind of basketball shoe to sell and was lobbying to have them made in China. He was bowing to these government types so low that I was afraid he would end up with one's joint in his mouth. I doubt that would have bothered him much come to think of it. Well I did my job professionally, politely and competently but I did not bow to anyone. As an American I will bow to no man. Especially not in my own country. I am really very surprised that I was not given some kind of heads up from Toyota Center management that I was supposed to bow or something. I would have refused the job and gone home. Hmmmm. Why does our President find the need to kowtow and bow to Mohammedans and others when he is overseas? We don't bowto anyone! Period! It is our culture.
Well there is a sports writer here in Houston named John Mclain and though he really does not classify as a celebrity (I guess) he thinks himself one I am sure. In 2003 I believe it was, Houston hosted the Super Bowl now more remembered for the famous "wardrobe malfunction" than the actual game (Carolina vs New England). At any rate I bartended at a few of those parties and it was "Cocktail" all over again. The last Super Bowl event was the "after party" that catered mostly to journalists and their ilk. It was pretty damn busy but kind of lame none the less. I met a real cool guy from El Paso who was a firefighter by trade and a sideline photographer in his other gig. What a cool job. I wonder how he worked his way into that one. Anyway toward the end of the evening John Mclain staggered up at the bar next to me and wanted some drink or other that the bartender was out of. He got kind of belligerent and let loose with the "do you know who I am" thing. Of course the bartender had no clue, but I did. Anyone who listens to sports talk radio can't mistake that gravelly whiskey voice. I clued the bartender in on who just left his bar (after he finally left) and the guy said something to the effect of "I don't care who he is. That guy is a f....... a..hole. " I couldn't agree more. He chalked himself up in my book to what the sports world obviously already knows he is: An Ass!! Perhaps John is just trying to live up to the image of the hard drinking sports writer. That is all well and good I suppose, but he should try to handle his liquor a little better. You are not in high school John. Knowing what I know about John, I am sure that since the Super Bowl was in Houston and he is based out of here, he probably felt that he was the Prince of the Game. Did I mention that he is might be an egomaniac?
Here is where the story of Mclain gets even funnier. Now I did not have this happen to me and did not witness it but it was told to me by some cabbie a few years back and I chose to believe it. This guy, I don't know his name unfortunately, told me that he had Mclain in his cab and he pulled the same "do you know who I am stunt." Of course Mclain was allegedly hammered at the time. If this alleged incident would have happened to me, I would have pulled over and let him out of the car be it in front of a police station or crack house. Been my pleasure to do so.
I met a good many sports celebrities during that Super Bowl and was treated nice by each and every on of them. Had a conversation with Buddy Ryan and met the then Pats kicker Adam V. Seemed like good guys. Incidentally Adam cost me 2000 bucks in another Super Bowl a couple of years back when he missed a chip shot field goal with time running out in the first half. I was in a 100 buck a square office pool and a field goal would have netted me two grand. He missed it of course. I haven't forgiven him for that yet.
I have bartended for Jesse Jackson and found him interesting. He disappeared at one point in this big mansion type place called the Parador at the intersection of Almeda and Binz in Houston and there was wild speculation on where he went. Maybe found him a hottie was the going bet. At the same party I served Rep Sheila Jackson Lee and found her rude and arrogant. That is nothing unexpected however. She wasn't at my bar long enough for me to additionally classify her as stupid but she has since proven that to be the case. She also might be an egomaniac.
The list goes on and on with celebrities of politics, screen and sports that I have served in my career as a bartender. Most seem just like regular folk but when there are exceptions they sure stand out.
I almost forgot. In my cab I once chauffeured around a woman for hours that told me she was porn star Isis Nile. I thought her full of crap, but later looked it up on the internet and there she was in all her glory. She gave me a kiss on the forehead as I finally dropped her off after a night of partying and I bet I could have got me a little of that. Would have tried if I was a single man. Just to say I did it!
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